Monday, January 11, 2010

Our Real Son

One of our favorite stories to read as a family over the years has been the Velveteen Rabbit. We bought Judah a large picture frame that has a quote written upon it from the story.

You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
The Velveteen Rabbit.

It has been a month since we anxiously awaited the arrival of our son Judah. We waited in complete anticipation as he stepped off the plane...stepped into our arms...stepped into our lives. Adoption has changed my life. Spending time in Africa has changed my life...the need is too great for my heart sometimes. I am thankful for the calling that our Savior put on our hearts...this calling to adopt Judah.

The adjustment is just adjustment. I am amazed at how the Lord orchestrated Judah's little personality to fit just perfectly in our family. He is funny...really funny...that we all just delight in him at times and literally laugh out loud. And because he is so close in age with his siblings they play really well as if he has been here for years. The bonding is happening so much faster than I which I am very thankful. He literally is sad when his siblings are at school because he wants to be playing in his Buzz Lightyear costume with them. And he is a cuddler!!!! He is perfectly happy sitting in my lap for it!!! Many of you have prayed for our family since the day we felt that calling...thank you...and I would not be real if I said things were easy all the time. I ask you to continue to pray because adoption is not a fairytale. Especially when you adopt an older child...there are years that have passed without you...years that have passed without any one person for them to call mommy or daddy. So we will continue to walk through trials and adjustments knowing full well the One who is holding us up and knowing full well that He is teaching and loving us as we teach and love our precious son.

The other night Ryan and I were watching tv and all four children were asleep. We heard a loud thud...we waited and waited...but no noise. It sounded as if someone fell out of their bed....but we heard no pitter patter of little feet. I went upstairs to check things out. Judah had fallen out of tears and no cries for help. As I held him...I stroked his hair...kissed his face all over and just rocked him for a long time while I prayed over him. If it had been any of my other three children...they would have yelled for us to come....they would have cried immediately...or they would have come and gotten us to make it all better. Judah does not fully understand yet how we love him...he has never experienced it before...and it will take time. I have thought about that night several times since it has happened and realized that at times I am just like Judah. When things get hard or scary it is so easy to rely on my own strength. But don't we want arms to wrap around us...don't we want to know that we are not alone? I can not even fathom...can not even wrap my mind around how much my Savior loves me...
how much He wants me to fall into His arms.

EVERY TIME we pull into the driveway Judah yells, "LOOK...JUDAH'S HOUSE...JUDAH'S HOUSE!!!!" He always has the biggest smile and he does a little dance of is adorable. He does have a house...he does have a family. He is our real son.


  1. I found your blog through Kristen Welborn, we were friends in Birmingham through my family. This breaks my heart. I am in tears over the pain he has been through, but not even know that he is missing someone to hold and love him. What a privilege to be that person to teach him how to love and be loved. I will be praying that he learns this amazing love sooner than later. God is so good to show us his love!

  2. Thanks so much for your honesty. It helps me so much more than glossing over the hard times. I'm so glad Judah has your family to love him and help him learn what love is. God places the lonely in families.

  3. love you so much sweet friend and so thankful for the heart God has given you for the world and especially this precious child. he is loved and prayed for more than he even understands right now, and so is his real mommy! :)

  4. Yes, he is your real son. And you, Ryan, and Judah's siblings will all make Judah feel loved, welcomed, appreciated, cherished, valued.. He will know how real your love is over time. If you think about it, you really probably didn't appreciate your parents' love for you until you were an adult, and then, as a parent, it took love to a higher level. So, he does know, in his own way, even now. Just by exclaiming, "Judah's house!" and by playing with his siblings so well... he feels like a part of your family, and that is REAL!

    I know firsthand adopting an older child can be hard. Stay grounded in the Word and surround yourself with people who can speak truth into your life when times get tough and the devil wants you to believe certain lies. I am still praying for your transition time and the daily routines- may they be filled with joy! Much love to you and Ryan.

  5. So blessed to hear that he is doing so well. When we brought courtney home, she was only 15 months old, and didn't cry except for when she couldn't see me...night and day. She didn't cry when she got hurt and other times many infants cry. I don't remember when that changed, I just know that it did. My heart is so full when I see how the children in their homes are doing, thank you for sharing with the rest of are continually in our prayers for all that you walk Judah through.

  6. he is your real son. =)

    and oh, what a perfect analogy.

    clayton didn't cry when we met him or first brought him home either. he finally has started crying when getting little hurts, but will not cry out at all when he awakens from his nap. he'll sit and suck his thumb in his crib. i'm longing for the day when he consistently cries out to us. knowing we will respond to him, help him, love him.